Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Marriage of Cultures

When we get married, we usually get the advise that it's the son (or daughter) you're marrying, not the family. So, you should go with what you want, from the wedding preps, from the money decisions, where you live, etc. etc.

While this may be true in principle, it's a reality that you do marry into another family. Your spouse's family is now your family too (as your family is now also his family). There are certain things that won't be the same. Especially if you come from different cultural backgrounds. Like me and my husband, who come from different backgrounds. He comes from a family of professionals, Pinoy, of course. I come from a family of Tsinoy businesspeople. Of course there are bound to be differences, and when we married each other, we knew about that, but we were already prepared to embrace and adapt.

I am lucky that my in-laws have been pretty good to me. Of course, there are always some things that we learn each day about and from each other, but then as along as we remember to "respect" each other and the differences in our culture and our upbringing, we get along fine.

We started married life living with his family but moved to my mother's house when we had a child. Long story but suffice to say that it was because it was more convenient for us. My husband has been pretty good about adjusting to our living situation, but we do know that sooner or later, when the kids are big enough and no longer need constant supervision by relatives, we'll want to move to our own place (we'll make sure to enlist the services of a reliable mover like moving companies Los Angeles when we do so). It's nothing personal against our folks, it's just that at a certain point in our lives, we should really be an independent family and make our own rules and traditions for our own kids.
This is my contribution to Wifespeaks: Chika Tuesday. Topic this week is about the in-laws.


JO said...

I won't make a post of this, baka mabasa nila eh.. mahirap na...hehehe...

But I posted a comment at wifespeak...